"Will You Be My Valentine?" and other nonsense

Hmmm. First of all, let's talk about how happy I was early this morning when, through a beautiful text message (sent in bulk, so it counts as media!) from a good friend explained to me that Malone decided to be nice and cancel classes. Joy! Unspeakable joy! A college kid's dream, and so on and so forth. I then checked the website myself, just to bask in the glory. There was that delightful red bar at the top of the Malone page, announcing that all classes had been cancelled and all offices were closed. What a wonderful present from God, brought to us by the media. A Valentine's Day gift, if you will.

What? Today was Valentine's Day? I'd never have guessed it. It's not like there have been approximately 9,440,006 advertisements telling me this since...January? Absurd. The media has turned this silly little holiday into a ridiculous ordeal. Commercials show me "happy" couples who are enveloped in each other's arms, men buying women diamond necklaces that cost them two months salary, women cooking men fancy dinners that she would never otherwise have cooked, and so on and so forth. Walking into any store, I am bombarded by pink and red hearts, teddy bears, elaborate bouquets of flowers, and enough chocolate to feed all of the starving children in the world.

Let's not even go into the world of second rate television sitcoms, which tell us that if you don't have a dream date on this cold February day, you are nothing. Filth. Scum. Destined to live alone for the rest of your life and collect cats. If you do have one, and that dream boy or girl forgets that it's Valentines Day, or, Heaven forbid, doesn't spend enough money on you, then they are worthless. They don't love you. In fact, they secretly hate you and are only with you because they find you mildly attractive. You might as well just go ahead and break up with them.

Ugh. You're probably reading this, thinking "Wow. This girl sure is bitter." Maybe I am. Just a litttle bit. I mean, honestly. Is it fully necessary for the media to take hold of every little thing and blow it out of proportion? If you love someone, you don't need a holiday to show them this. You don't need to buy them diamonds and chocolate and little teddy bears holding heart shaped pillows, or whatever the trend is nowadays. Show them every day. The Beatles were right when they sang "money can't buy me love." Neither can Valentine's Day. IT'S ALL A SHAM. Or something. I don't know, it's a snow day.

I am probably rambling and not making much sense. That is okay.

With that said, Happy Valentine's Day, everyone:) Here are some funny(?) anti-valentines from some very bitter people.